Hey Laura, I am so glad that you answered before I did! I'm glad that you picked up on what I said
When I speak to you guys and other Chiarians, whether it be in here or face to face or on the phone, I always relate to my own experiences and feelings ( it links nicely also with the emotions post that Jade posted a short time ago).
We all have a common bond and very strong bond, and that is pure human emotion - something that we all exhibit, whether we do it privately or publicly
I am not alone, we all do it.
Going through surgery like decompression raises all of our basic human functions and emotions from a basal level. From reading a few books and reading forums and comments from all kinds of people from all kinds of backgrounds and from all kinds of circumstances - there is one common denominator that joins us and that is basic human instinct and behaviour - nothing can change that. The only difference is what and how we apply our own beliefs and upbringing towards those basic "reactions"
Please forgive the following diatribe, but there is a meaning to it.
A little precursor so as not to sound like I am the font of all knowledge or experience first - because I know that I am not.
We all go through difficult times in our lives - the loss of a loved one, marriage breakdowns, serious accidents, near misses etc etc etc. These kinds of experiences leave us all open to "attack" from our own emotions.
Just to give one personal example - I lost my father in 1995 to prostate cancer. He was 49 years old (9 years older than I am now). He had just retired from the Police on a full sergeants pension. I wasn't that close to him in reality, and he gave my Mum, my brother and I a hard time as we grew up (details not necessary at this point) but he was still my dad.
I held his hand as he died, at home and lovingly cared for and looked after. I am sure we have all been through something similar.
I went through every single emotion for the days, weeks and months afterwards. Probably through all of them in the first 24 hours - in no particular order anger, sadness, frustration, happiness (glad that he no longer had to suffer), selfishness, sorrow, pride, doubt, anguish, guilt, worry and probably others that I could not either explain or recognise. I still do to this day - it's only natural I guess.
The same emotions could be applied to any given event in our lives that affects us at a base level - major surgery included.
Personally, before I was given a date for surgery I had not yet been given the chance to think about it in the way that I did immediately afterwards. Up until this point it was all about what I had researched, and I had not yet realised how real it was and how it all applied to me.
That very quickly changed when I was given a date.
I went through dread, anticipation, being scared sh**less - all of the negative emotions at first. Then I got my practical head on (something that I said to Laura will come over the weekend hopefully) and felt excitement, a feeling of well-being and a positive feeling that helped me through it............something along the lines of when you go on the big dipper at blackpool......... you climb up the first incline, you know what's coming but all through the "click click click" of the car climbing up the first bit....anticipation, fright - but you know that at the end of it you are going to be buzzing - you have no control over it and you are going to be thrown off the end and have to place trust in those with control....you might have a heart racing moment part way through that sets you off balance a little bit....but you know that it will be ok in the end......or at least you have a positive trust that you will as others have been and had before you....but at the end of it you know that your heart will be racing and you will have a big bright smile as you step off.
For me, having a positive attitude and a practical head throughout was the biggest contribution towards my positive result - setting little goals and being positive about achieving them and immediately setting the next one. If I hit a hitch, then it wasn't a big deal.......the positivity pushed me forward and I ignored the set-backs in order to achieve the bigger picture.
Apologies if I sound all authoritative, I really don't mean to or to make me out to be the big "I am" - but I am sure we all know what I am talking about.
The one thing that I don't apologise about is being able to think the way that I did. I know that I was lucky, that I didn't have too many complications and that my journey was a comfortable one in comparison to some. I can only think that because of the positivity that I had, that I fended off some of the smaller issues and made them seem insignificant.
To get back on post! excitement is brilliant! It is the interest paid on anticipation of "getting back to the normal you". It is what the surgery is for and the ultimate goal of giving you your life back - take it, grasp it and cuddle it like it was your only child - then turn it into being practical and get selfish and focus on your end goal and focus on "you"
If you have someone that can take care of the stuff outside of that hospital ward for you, then all the better. Pay no mind to it, it isn't your priority during those few days - your priority is you. Don't feel bad about it - take then opportunity to be selfish for a change, but this time it's for a good reason - and no religion / person in the world could criticise you for it.
OK....rant over, steps off soap-box..........
Welcome to the roller-coaster ride that is decompression surgery.
I hope that my post is met with happiness and positivity - it is not meant to scare anyone, put pressure on anyone or put a jinx on anyone (yes - I am touching wood!) it is straight from the heart and I wish you all that are coming up to your own time all the luck and love in the world. I will, as I always do, be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts to each and every one that you all come out of the other end as positively as I did.
Perhaps I have said too much ,or perhaps said what we all want to say but never dared? Sorry if I have overstepped the mark.
TC guys
Chris
